Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
