I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
