no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's great music for shaving your balls
Be still, my beating vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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