found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
