In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
