I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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