I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
