You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
