Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
