I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize