I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
