Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
