if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
