I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize