i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
