Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
