White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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