I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
