my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
