If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just want nice things and good sex
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
