Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
