Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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