i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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