Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
