Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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