hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
