lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
