i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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