she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
