I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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