I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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