I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
