What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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