I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
