How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
