hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize