You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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