I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize