So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
