Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
