Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
