There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
