so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
40s are totally the cure
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
