It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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