I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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