Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize