I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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