"it" just moved
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
do herpes really smell.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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