Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
