I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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