im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
