I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
