The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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