first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
