Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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