Soap is not a condiment
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
