I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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