If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
