I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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